Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps

[Breakdown]

First, I'm really glad Sandi dropped in....I'm a huge fan of her advice. She's straight to the point and dead on.

Me & H had a heated discussion yesterday, both expressed our feelings & I think it needed doing to be honest to clear the air.

I'm going to challenge you on this. Why do you think having a heated discussion clears the air? Why do you think saying anything at this point improves the situation?

Yeah, I'm sure you felt better getting some things off your chest....but that's not really my question.

I'm beginning to try to prepare myself for divorce not sure how much I can really "prepare" but i'm expecting the worst now & anything else is a bonus - still have hope though, I think I always will.

I do think you can mentally prepare to an extent. Accepting it actually can remove some stress. The uncertainty of "am I or aren't I" really is an unhealthy place.

Also, you can start getting your ducks in a row....consult an attorney, start planning YOUR future, protect yourself.

...so i'm understandably worried that he's just going to continue contact somehow but that's not in my control. Any tips on how to change my thinking on this?

This one is difficult, and will take some time. First, you have to accept that you can only control you....regardless what you would like your H to do, that's for him to decide. Second, you have to accept that you will be ok regardless of your H's decisions. Again, it's going to take some time and some practice, and throwing in some GAL is incredibly helpful as well.