I keep meaning to drop in and post. These pesky sales and estate issues keep getting in my way...
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My oldest is finally realizing after me explaining it a number if times, I need alone time on Tuesdays. He gives me a couple of hours. At least it is something.
I had to do this myself too. Our parenting order calls for Mr. Wonderful to have the girls on M-W nights. At some point in her teenage years, D20 got very busy with club volleyball (practice facility was 5 minutes from my house), school, friends and activities at school; so she got permission from her dad to be excused from the requirement and promised she'd schedule time with him to make up for it. (Well, that really didn't happen, but they did find their balance and peace.)
Back then, I was religious about working out on Monday and Wednesday nights. I didn't plan meals and I made a point to plan doing things on those nights as well. Often, I'd come home and be puttering around the house, and then I started giving up my gym time (not a good idea, but...). I'd make dinner and of course there would be extras. She'd come to expect to have dinner with me, and then we wound up in a place where she'd text me and say, "What's for dinner tonight?" I started to feel burned out and choked on my resentment. I finally told her that I was going back to the original schedule and to make her own plans. And I meant it.
Occasionally, I'd want to go out to dinner and I'd invite her. I made sure I knew it was my choice so I didn't feel resentful later on. It really worked.
You might have to religiously plan something to do outside of the house on Tuesdays just to drive home your point. And if you can't leave the house, why don't you turn on some music you like and take up a hobby? Work out/yoga, scrapbooking, making jam, journaling, sewing/needlepoint... something that YOU choose and that distances yourself from interacting with anyone?
Did I tell you I changed our hotel to one located on Westport Drive in Topeka? I figured it would get us an hour closer to home and be easier for you too. I'll call you the week I leave so you have advance on that. I'm really excited too! I'll have D20 and her BF with me, but maybe they'll want to do their own thing...
I'm sorry to hear about all the stressful things happening lately. FWIW, it seems to happen in clumps - some long term, some shorter - and now that I'm old(er), I'm trying to take the opportunity to figure out what I'm supposed to learn from all of it. Sometimes it's the obvious, so maybe you could look at it this way? The common thread I see here is that you NEED time alone for Kat, if only to heal and think.
Hugs-
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
