Wife wants a divorce

[VFL]

Well that sucked.

Therapy today consisted of a personality profile. Which we are the same on half of the attributes. Myers Briggs personality types she's an ESTJ and i'm an ISTP. Discussed how we perceive each others feelings and actions and how we deal with them.

Talked about how she 'let go' of our relationship a year ago when she moved into the other bedroom. Said she didn't try counseling because I was adamant that I didn't want to go and the last thing you should do is drag someone to therapy. Told the therapist we have talked about divorce in the past but made up eventually (each time was a little longer and longer until we made up). So i thought we would make up eventually it just was taking longer than expected.

So to me I never looked at us agreeing on divorce last year when she moved into the other bedroom at real. I'm a wreck at the moment so some of the session is a blur but it ended up with him telling me that i have to let her go and rebuild my own 'house' in order for this to work. He wants to meet with only me next week.

Walking to our cars we got into another argument. She said "do you see what he's saying about we need to let this die and I can see your changes are real then we could possibly get back together" I told her I didn't want anyone else in my 'house'. Asked her about just separating, she said we've been separated for over a year (when she moved into the other bedroom). I told her we never discussed a separation and she replied that it didn't need to be discussed. We were just at two completely different places in our relationship and due to my lack of communication i'm losing the person i love most.

I'm not giving up DBing really though, because I like the changes I've made. I don't even consider it DBing anymore. I don't know if I've convinced myself this is the new me or what but I like who I am now more than who I was a month ago.