Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps

[Upwards]

Me & H had a heated discussion yesterday, both expressed our feelings & I think it needed doing to be honest to clear the air. We both said some quite hurtful things, some in anger & some the truth, not really DB but a lot of it needed saying. We both apologised afterwards & called a truce.

We've both agreed on the following:
* We dont want to be together right now.
* We're about 90% sure we're heading for divorce.
* There is a chance our feelings will change in the future.
* Neither of us want all this animosity & stress.
* We're going to concentrate on the kids/business and selves.
* We both need time to heal & for things to settle.

So at the moment i'm keeping contact minimal and to kids/business, H was being quite cold towards me & very distant again but hoping our discussion last night cleared the air. We both need some time & space. I'm going to take H's lead really, if he begins to contact me more then i'll use some of the DB techniques that have helped us in the past but until then i'm "acting as if", being friendly and working on myself.

I'm beginning to try to prepare myself for divorce not sure how much I can really "prepare" but i'm expecting the worst now & anything else is a bonus - still have hope though, I think I always will.

I've been struggling with detachment in the past few days, I suppose there has been a lot going on so that may be why but I want my head to control me & not my emotions - H's affair has been forefront of my mind because of him cutting contact so i've been thinking about that a lot, I cant trust him right now so i'm understandably worried that he's just going to continue contact somehow but that's not in my control. Any tips on how to change my thinking on this?