'This is what you should have been doing since Day 1.'
So do you mean the Day 1 when we stood in our kitchen and she blew my world apart by admitting she was sleeping with a 24 year old guy. The Day 1 when she said she couldn't give it up and that I was never meant to find out. The Day 1 when she made it clear the only way forward was for me to accept the affair until he was gone in two weeks and then we could start looking at our marriage and working on things? The Day 1 when he eventually left after two weeks when I knew she was sleeping with him but had to accept it or lose everything but thought, ok maybe now we can start again. The Day 1 when I asked her for the 3rd time since she promised to end contact why she had called him again. The Day 1 when she said she needed to 'find herself'and was moving out despite promising to work at things together once he was gone. The Day 1 when she suggested I take over full time care of the boys and she started dating other guys ( after only having left 3 weeks previous)
I hope you see my point. I only joined the forum at the end of March and there has been so many very painful things that had happened before I did. I have been in hell and it's only now that I am able to start thinking clearly by reading and learning and trying to truly understand what caused this. During that time I have begun to realise that I had a huge part to play in it. I am willing to shoulder whatever blame is thrust on me for how we got here as I sure there is lots. But please don't tell me that I should have known this from Day 1. You have no idea how much she has done in between that I haven't even mentioned on here as it happened before I joined. I get your 'tough love' approach but I think yoiu need to see the whole picture before passing judgement.
