Today was a little better. Rainy all day so went to the gym in the morning, then worked on bathroom remodel in the afternoon. I had to call H in the morning for some last minute tax info, was kicking myself the whole time, as I really wanted to go dim for a while. I kept the call very short, he was quite pleasant. I felt bummed though all afternoon, driving myself crazy with thoughts of us not ever getting back together. Keeping a PMA is really something I have to work on, I'm so impatient and I know that, as I have seen all over these boards, this process is a marathon, not a sprint, and I can't let my impatience get me down emotionally.
Early in the evening, when I was out running some errands, I got a text from H, asking me how my day was and what I was up to. I let some time pass before I answered him, and then we texted back and forth a few times. He said that me missed me, and brought up a couple of the silly inside jokes that we have. I felt really good about the interaction, but I'm struggling with what my game plan should be going forward.
On one hand, I want to create some distance, give him space to figure out what he wants to do, let him miss me a little bit. On the other hand, we seem to have made a lot of progress in the last few weeks with what we are doing now: I have been texting him occasionally, but letting him make most of the contact, and then responding back pretty consistently. With the exception of earlier today, he has been making all of the phone calls to me. I know that I have been making myself rather available, and I'm not really following the DR guidelines as far as our interactions. Any thoughts? Keep doing what I'm doing as far as our interactions go, as I have seen some results, or try to go a little more dim, hoping for more drastic results?
