One year in but a newbie

[25yearsmlc]

IS your wife paying for the girl's college? All or some? They are your biological daughters, right?

I keep hearing how SHE was turned down as a co-signer for their school loans and how they may want to go out of state (typical of many that age and it has been a LONG hard winter up in the NE this year too), but I hear about how your spends too much, yet you are "barely scraping by"...(do you spend too much?)

Since I have heard nothing from you or about your contributions to the college issue I can't say much but I have to ask you, when you say you cannot afford to "help her" -- it seems to me that you would have been paying mostly the same things, if she had remained married to you, correct?

What is it that is costing you more, than before? The apartment down the road? Your wife earns something, right? And The main house in getting rehabbed, so I guess it's still not habitable or is just for you or what? What was the plan for where everyone was going to live?

And how would your family know that you won't have another "reaction" to medication that you had last year? You glossed over that incredibly fast and I'm sorry to bring up what must be a painful memory (or hazy memory).

But for the police to come (more than once), and for you to be committed to a psychiatric care, says a lot more about your behavior than it does your wife's,

although you blamed her for you not being able to go home ("the doctor did not believe my wife would take care of me"....is btw, something I cannot believe a doctor would tell a psychiatric patient)...And while you focus on HER issues and tell her that (which you say you are no longer doing but your tone here suggests otherwise. She continues to be the focus of your posts, or rather HER FLAWS are....and imo, this is not new behavior of yours.)

And as for visiting colleges and working out the sleeping arrangements, and spending, ahead of time, yes to me you sound controlling and needlessly so.
La Bug mentioned that but I didn't see you reply to her comments...


IF your wife had wanted to share a bed with you...well, why did you rule it out preemptively?

What was the real goal? DIG DEEP...

I can't help but think you were hitting her first, "in case". What if you put your dukes down and just stay in your sandbox? As in, not in her sandbox? You know, just work on YOUR stuff for awhile...like at least go 90 days...

How about going 90 days without mentioning her issues/flaws/errors and just talk about YOUR GAL, and what your personal flaws are that you would like to improve upon.

What specifically, are the traits you working on, in YOUR LIFE?