5 months of heck...ugh

[bluesgal]

tld-I just read through your posts today. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am so sorry any of us have to feel this pain. I am appoaching the 1 year mark since BD and my H is more distant now than ever. He is deeper in the tunnel so to speak.

I spent months thinking the fall of my M was all my fault. And I did contribute my part, but this is an unreasonable response to normal marriage ups and downs. Between that and the fact that my H has nearly abandoned his kids, almost lost his job, and has become the mirror image of his former self all led the conclusion of MLC.

After all that I still wallowed and cried and felt sorry for myself. I wanted to (and still want to) control things. Nearly one year into this, I have accepted my reality and have worked on everything in my control....ME.

My relationships with my kids, family, friends, and God have strengthened. I am working out again and fostering new and old hobbies. I have decided to stand for my M and forgive my H. I have finally let go of much of the anger I was holding onto for months. I NEVER thought I would get to this point and now realize that if I've gotten here, I know I can go even further and become stronger and happier than ever.

My goal is to slowly rebuild a friendship with my H. The details of that goal (the measureable parts) are much smaller and those will be the little things that I work for and celebrate.

Long story short, I know you will get to a better place with less worry, anxiety, and pain. Unfortunately, we have to earn those stripes and it hurts. Keep going tld-you can do this.

Some really good advice I have gotten from these fine folks on this forum:

Show your kids how to persevere in tough times

Fake it till you make it