New Year, New Goals, New me!

[mishka422]

We leave for our trip on Saturday. I'm so excited to be getting away but a small part of me is full of anxiety. No reason to be anxious really. Dumb.

[mishka422]

Or 2 or 3 or 10......

[kat727]

Gabe is staying home right? This is also right ontop of your deadline so of course you are feeling a bit anxious. This is good for you. Buy the man a ring!

Have fun. kat

[mishka422]

No, Gabe is going too.

Buy the man a ring?????? Are you serious???? Omg, I'd hyperventilate!

[mishka422]

No, Gabe is going too.

Buy the man a ring?????? Are you serious???? Omg, I'd hyperventilate!

[kat727]

You are having a hard time expressing what you want, so show him. You can ask you know. Maybe he isn't sure that you want him. Maybe he is just as confused or flustered as you are when it comes to expressing himself.

Okay so have your one or ten drinks and go for it!

kat

[whatisis]

Have a great trip!

[mishka422]

Our trip was wonderful and relaxing and I'm so sad it's over.

Gabe was sick the first 3 days of it. I mean in bed, sick as a dog, fever, stomach mess. No bueno. It wasn't norovirus, just a standard bug.

I never got the courage to speak with him on the trip. I wasn't ever tipsy enough! I really have to wait now. There is so much going on with Marc's graduation coming up and him leaving for boot camp in August. I just can't rock the boat like that right now. It was just add much more stress to my load. I know I can't handle that right now.

Yes, I have to do it. I know, I know! I don't walk on eggshells really. I just don't express my feelings about our R. It's not going to kill me to wait it out. It's just aggravating to feel like I'm treading water all the danged time!

I know it's my decision to keep myself in this place but I just can't risk screwing up things for Marc.

[mishka422]

Because if he freaks out and runs that would hurt Marc and at a very critical time in his life. I just can't take the chance.

[mishka422]

The hits just keep coming don't they?

Now I'm super glad I didn't say anything to Gabe about my emotional crap. He just was notified that his company lost their biggest account and he is out of a job at the end of the month. Oh joy.

Now what do I do? I finally had a little bit of breathing room...not much, but a little...and it's gone. We all know how impossible it is to find any kind of a decent job now.