She left - 3

[gogofo]

I am not sure if you are in the piecing phase as it seems that W is not yet at that place or mindset in reconciliation. More of a "wait and see" approach to ensure that your words and actions are congruent to her. This is how you earn your trust with her. Make sense?

Oh and I would add that using humor during those talks are good way to inject light-hearted moments. Sometimes people get way too intense and they feel suffocated. It is a delicate dance that I think you can do here, GoFo! Self-deprecating humor is a winner!

I would say we may be at pre-piecing phase, but things could go either way depending on Thursday. I agree with a "wait and see" approach and feel that IF piecing comes to us, the book comments can be dealt with in a more healthy trust building way.

I feel the book has the potential to be a big mountain and I don't feel it is wise to climb the biggest mountain when we haven't even laced our boots yet. If we start this journey it will be on our route.

I also have a PhD in self-deprecating humor. We have always laughed a lot and I use humor to cheer people up or two ease tension. I also use it to mask feelings though and to change or divert subjects that are touchy so I need to be careful that I do not invalidate or discredit any progress we make with too much humor.

She uses humor too. When she dropped the bomb the next day when talking I broke severely and was a complete emotional mess. She was talking D and this time. A day or two later she backed off the D talk and I asked why? She started a comment, stopped, and I told her I could take it. She said "You were like a wounded animal and I felt that I should just put you out of your misery." I laughed my ass off, she did too, and it brought some levity to the situation. I still laugh about it. Boy I was a mess that day, thanks to the book and this board I am nowhere near that fragile anymore.