Your default is set to "I'm not good enough" or something close to that. Is that true in other areas of your life? Could explain some of that need for control comes from, what do you think.
"I'm not good enough" is not much of an issue in other areas of my life. More like the more you know the less you know, but I have a science, technology, engineering, math (STEM) profession so I am constantly learning. I have achieved high success quickly. Earned a 4 year scholarship, graduated in 4 years which less than 10% do in my field, passed stringent national testing three different times on the first try, am 25 years younger than the median age in my field, and a partial owner where I work; I never really have failed at much that I put my mind to. Until this that is.
But NOW (after BD) I learned to not base happiness on my career. Big 180 for sure, and a cause of a lot of my underlying problems.
In relationships I feel not good enough, this is an area of work for me. I also need feed back and to listen to what she says (if we ever get there). When we were together I know she told me I was more than enough but I let doubt creep in. When I started loosing control with my work everything started to spiral down for us. I lost all confidence in myself and hated myself which changed how I treated others.
You are correct, I was most likely grasping at control of anything I could.
M:34 XW:34 Together: 10y Living: 9y Married: 7y Son:6 Son:4 Separated: 12/28/13 Piecing: 5/2/14 Separated 2nd: 10/16/14 W filed, but pulled it: 11/5/14 papers served: 1/27/15 D final: 3/6/15
