#40 and still counting

[kat727]

So a friend of mine's husband is battling cancer. All of the drugs and meds he has taken have now put him in kidney failure. He has days left.

Since my friend's son committed suicide earlier this year, I have been reading and reflecting on life. What life lessons these souls have chosen. So difficult and yet brave at the same time. I am still saddened by the fact that they are dying way too young. Please tell those you love how you feel. Live each day without fear and regret. Be present now. Be blessed and at peace.

kat

[kat727]

My friend's husband died today. He was only 51. You can be the best person and still have bad things happen. Since they found out, they had been working on his bucket list. His youngest daughter even got married early just so he could walk her down the aisle.

So much of the day to day cr@p doesn't matter. This has hit so close to home. All those things you tell yourself, I really need to figure out how to do it. Love and blessing to all my friends.

kat

[kat727]

I don't know Gineen. All weekend I felt like my soul was slowly dying. I know I am not doing what I should be doing but what I have to do to support my kids. Soon even that won't be enough. I have felt like a bird trapped In a cage.

This morning it hit me. I hold the key. I can unlock that cage. While I can't totally leave the cage, I can climb on it, I can fly around it. I've been wracking my brain so hard, I think now I just have to step back a bit and the solution will present itself. Need to have faith.

kat

[swoop]

I am very sorry for your loss, Kat.

It might help a little to realize that the loss of life, and the emotions you feel, have inspired you to live more. That is pretty powerful. I hope that I will have touched people, as deeply, when my time comes.

My condolences to you and your loved ones.

[BeginningAgain]

Sorry for the loss of your friend Kat. 51 is such a young age. My father died last week of kidney failure as well, he was 76. The only comfort we had was the medical staff told us that dying of kidney failure is a very peaceful death without pain and suffering. Nonetheless it is still difficult on those left behind.

BA

[kat727]

Thanks BA. In the end all of the toxic meds led to kidney failure. He passed fairly quickly. It is so sad. He was the same age as my brother. He had been fighting cancer for a little over a year.

So I think all my little issues are really nothing. Just need to pull up my big girl panties and soldier on.

kat

[mishka422]

Oh kat, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It is especially hard to lose someone so young. What a gift though to have been able to have all of those marvelous experiences with his family before he lost his battle.

Yes, kidney failure is one of the most peaceful types of organ failure deaths but it's still extremely hard on those left behind. Thankfully he will not have any pain or suffering any longer from the cancer and his family will be able to grieve while reflecting on their memories of him.

[kat727]

Thanks Mish. There have been many group photos toasting him at Old Chicago! This guy made a real impact in many lives. It is incredible.

So your timer is going off. What did you do?

kat

[kat727]

I just snapped at my kids. Uggghhhh, the kids let the dog out of the backyard accidentally so the kids needed to chase him. The cat got out and we haven't found her yet. I see all the things I need to fix around the house, the things I need to do on my car and just, well lost it a bit. Oh and s18 skipped German again,though he swears he didn't.

Doing this alone bites! There is no break or someone else that has my back. End of vent...great I am out of Kleenex.

kat

[mishka422]

No bueno chica. It sounds like everything is piling up at once on you. I'm so sorry sweetie. If anyone doesn't deserve all of that it's you!!! Do you meditate?

As far as my timer....I have chickened out yet again.