She left - 3

[labug]

Whether she decides to try R or not, your work is the same because the next R will be no different. Do you now have a different perspective on what it important to you? It seems that you do. If you had to write a mission statement for you, what would it be? What are your guiding principles, values?

I am understanding where her pain comes from and where I have contributed to it, with the limited information she has given me. I plan to keep working on my R skills and learning about myself and making the behaviors permanent. I hope the opportunity comes to use these skill more with the W. We need to have more open and honest communication when we rebuild this trust so we can better understand each other.

What does this^^ mean?

Yes, I'm pushing but without a plan and actionable steps, it won't happen. This is the most important project you will ever manage, make yourself accountable and create a plan. The only difference in this plan is, it's lifecycle is the same as yours.

I say the above in response to this:

In the past I had made changes to my behavior that enriched our relationship. Looking back they were reactionary, but genuine. I never did the work

That shows a lot of insight and self-evaluation, a great place to begin. You then went on to say you didn't understand what the changes meant to her. Talk more about that if you can.

About affairs and why people leave, my H left because he was done, he hung on for as long as he could and finally, as he told me, he wanted a chance to be happy. We hadn't been happy for a long time. There was no other woman, not even the hint of one.