Hope and lots of it.

[lost18]

I've read this a few times on these boards: "be the man any woman would be a fool to leave."

I understand where you are coming from, it is hard to change, especially if they are not changes we really want. Maybe ask yourself why you don't want to change. I'm doing things that I don't necessarily want to do either but in the end I feel better when I do them. If my H didn't drop the bomb would I be doing them right now? I don't know. But I know they have been issues for him and I want my H and my family back.

You are making changes and You may or may not get your family back, that's scary. But it's pretty much guaranteed if you don't change you will not get your family back.

Have you read DB or DR? It doesn't seem like you have. Maybe somebody with more experience can chime in. You have to get to the point where you are happy with yourself and will be happy regardless of what your W decides. I'm not sure I'm making sense but I will say this, if the changes are temporary, only to get your W back, and you do not plan on maintaining the changes than it is futile. You will end up right back in the same situation.