I can feel you about the children. My D5 always calls each night I do not have her to say goodnight. Every time she calls, she end the goodnight by telling me “I am giving the phone to mommy now because she said she needs you” and I can hear in the background her tell mommy “daddy said he needs you so hear is the phone”. I fell for this for a few times in a row and then I realized it was just D5 wanting to get us back to gather. As bad as it felt I started hanging up the phone before it got to my wife so as to maintain her space and my minimal contact.
When the D5 was over at the house last she told me she was tired of Grandma’s house and wanted to come back home. She asked when she and mommy could come back and it broke my heart. I had to ask my sister to watch her for a few minutes because I couldn't keep from crying and I didn't want D5 to see that. This might seem small to some but prior to my wife leaving I had not cried about anything other than shear pain related accidents in the better part of 15 years. Many of the self-help books I have been reading talk about getting in touch with your emotions but it would be a lot easier if this deluge didn't have to hit me all at once. Sometimes I don’t know how to take these wonderful new found emotions so I go work out instead. Sometimes I let them in and see where they take me but it always seems to go down a dark road that I would rather not be on.
Stay strong Nettles and keep up the good work my friend.
Me: 32 W: 30 M: 11 years T: 12 years Kids: D5 W Left: 03/25/2014
It ain't about how hard you're hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
