Barrybran - Yet Another Thread

[ericmsant2]

I want my wife here at home and I want things to improve between us.

I want to hit the lotto and see unicorns – that is what I. I am entitled to want what I want. Question…based on what I want…how much of that could I control?

I don't think I should have to deal with confusion and arguments in my day-to-day life because she is choosing to stay this time and is unwilling to communicate effectively.

No you should not Barry. Why are you then? Is she forcing you to deal with her? Once again, what can you control?

I won't put up with poor communication if we were in different houses or divorced; I would go it alone and make my own decisions and let her deal with the consequences.

“I will not put up with poor communication” – I get that…ummmm…how does this align with the traits that YOU defined….

Patient
- I feel someone who is patient is someone who can ride through a lot of nonsense and respond to a situation calmly, articulately, sensitively and fairly.

Do you think YOU forcing HER to learn how to communicate on YOUR TERMS in YOUR timeline is patient?

Fair
- Someone who weighs up a situation and delivers an outcome that is beneficial to all parties while achieving specific goals.

Do you think that now that YOU have learned some better communication habits that it is FAIR to her to be sooo….umm….quick to tell her that she needs to communicate better? Is that fair?

For the record, I am not saying you are wrong for standing up for yourself. I just find that the way you go about doing it, may not yield the results that you are really looking for. I feel like some of your responses are driven more by anger than by love.

That said, I am not living it like you are.

My advice is always to keep your comments short and to the point.

As for her letter….you tell me what you think it says and why?