[BrightFuture]

I feel so hopeless today. Got another rejection on the job I applied for. I have an interview tomorrow and I need to prepare, but cannot find any energy or motivation. I feel like crying. I feel cornered. I don’t know what to think, what to do anymore… I want all the hurt to go away… I want it to be over, one way or another…

I don’t know what to do about my friends. I love them and we became very good friends recently. I know they would do anything for me. Sometimes I feel like they are my friends no matter what… Sometimes I think that this friendship is just holding me from moving on. I’m torn inside. I’ve been contemplating to end this friendship or at least to have less contact until I can figure it out.

Job, thanks for the advice. I agree. It is just I seems to bring it on myself. At one point I was offended that my friends would not tell me things, because I would find out about the same things from other sources anyway. And it would be worse than if my friends would tell me. My family and other GFs keep telling me to stop going to the vacation place all together. Maybe this is what I need to do. I know it will be a painful decision.

Yes, the info about H brought me down. But maybe it is for the better? Maybe I will stop having any hope or expectations. This has been going on for almost two years, and I still have feelings and still have hope. When does it end? When will the pain go away?