Don't assume it is easy for her. I thought it was easy for my WAS, until I saw her. She lost 10% of her body weight very quickly, and is still struggling with her decision.

It may be she doesn't want to see you because it is a reminder that the decision hurt someone deeply and/or you remind her of the good times you had. There is no way to know.

I understand the hurt and pain. I understand the wanting to understand. But from the sounds of your conversation with her, I think your W needs space. I know it's hard, but don't initiate conversation with her. Let her do the talking. Anything from you right now is pressure. Reduce the pressure and see what happens.

me: 45 W:45
M 20 years
T 22 years
S14, S13, S11, D9
BD 2/28/14
D papers served 3/3/14
I moved out 3/15/14
MC start 4/2/14
I moved in 6/2/14
D suit withdrawn 6/30/14