She left - 3

[gogofo]

GoFo,

Remember what we say here about keeping the road paved smooth for the WAS? Can you do this? What would that look like to you?

I can do this, and have been working at it the whole time. I have been a good neighbor to her. When we have had dinner together I pay attention to her, eye contact, follow up questions, all the good listening skills. I validate what she says and fully try to listen with my heart, not my ears. These just aren't tactics to get her back though, it is how I want to interact with people and have been working at it.

When she has brought up R talk, I just listen and validate. I do not offer suggestions or try to fix things, which was difficult at first but now is second nature. I really do understand how she could have the feelings about the M she expresses. They are her feelings and whether the basis of them seems skewed to me or not, this is how she feels so I need to see things through her eyes. Empathy is basically what I have been working on, very heavily.

Smooth paved road; I keep on with what has been working for me. I do not go on the attack or express "me" feelings when she talks about how she feels. I also leave the comments from the book alone for a while. I feel they are a non issue for me at this point. I also feel that they will come up when the time is right and if I want things to be smooth, right now is not the time.

I just read yesterday's posts, I do have something to add.

About Easter, I don't know if it's a religious holiday for you or just the bunny and candy but it's a family thing but keep the kids first here. They're young so if it feels right to have the time as a family, do that.

Re your W's msgs, don't play too coy. She wants to talk, you can certainly respond in kind, if in fact that's what you want.

Take it slowly with beginner's mind. If you don't understand that, please read more about it.

Easter is just the bunny and egg hunt for us, but also family dinner which was/is important. I am still on the fence about what to do. Invite not invite they both seem correct. On one hand I don't want her to cake eat on the other hand I don't want to punish her.

I did not respond to the last text last night because I could not think of what I wanted to write back. I hate text messages that include feelings because it is so easy to misinterpret and did not want to risk this.

We will be in text contact tonight to work out the kids swap details for tomorrow so I will probably tell her "we can talk on Thursday", after our scheduled dinner, when the kids are asleep.

Still trying to remain grounded and not get my hopes up, but things seem positive towards the chance to work on us. I don't expect her to say "I love you" or "I want to move back in". The last time we talked she said she did not know if she could trust me. I think she might bring up the idea that she may be open to working on us and start the process of rebuilding trust an our relationship. I will let her dictate this pace and try to reign in my enthusiasm of going in too fast. I do know that I won't allow her to move back right now. As much as I would like it I know it is way too early.

We will see, just still trying to remain level headed and grounded.