Thanks Wonka. I guess the hard part is that I know she is in pain and I WANT to help her. I want her to be happy again. I want to take the pressure off, which was why when she was first depressed I took over almost everything so she wouldn't feel any pressure. It's hard when she should know after 25 years together that I'm NOT the enemy!I know now that she doesn't see that because of the MLC but it doesn't stop the hurt seeing this person who you love go through this and blame you knowing all you've done is try as hard as possible to help them feel better.
When you see her be more comfortable around other people who don't really know her or care about her that hurts as well. When she says when she's with me she gets "tired" but not with her new friends, that hurts! When you see this person who is nice to everyone, who tries so hard to BE liked and she is smiling when she says some hurtful thing to you, that's hard.
You know I watched her burn out when we talked. She started at full steam and by the time we were finished, she was lying there unable to keep her eyes open!Her depression took over and she was totally wiped out within 20 min.'s! It's like the effort to think of why she is doing this, to come up with reasons was just too much. I have just a day before listened to her go on and on about something that happened at work, how she felt, how she handled it and never once slow down or get tired. When she talks about these issues she can't keep it up for long before the pressure hits her like a ton of bricks!
Any LBS who can stand while they have their and their families lives destroyed by the very person who you have sworn to stay with in sickness and in health is a hero! If only the MLC'er could see that what they are going through is a "sickness" (which my W did when she was first depressed)maybe they wouldn't be so quick to blame the very people who love them the most.
Thank you so much, I really needed to hear what you were saying right at this moment!
