How should I feel?

[ericmsant2]

I just need to accept the conflict for now, assert my rights and start a new habit.

BINGO!

D14 gave me a lecture about how I was being unreasonable, mom was going to pay her to babysit and she wanted the money. I told her I made my decision and she was not going. She got moody and stormed off to her room.

Man do I feel for ya. IMO, it should always be about what it best for the kiddos. Do not fall into the trap of letting others convince you that you are being a doormat. Remember, flexibility goes both ways.

Sunday night she called to ask when I was dropping off the kids. I told her I wasn't. It was 5:30. The custody agreement states that she needs to pick up the kids @ 5:00 and I had been doing her a favor by dropping the kids off at her work. I told her that she needs to leave work, and come and pick them up. I also told her that she was in violation of the divorce agreement and that if she wasn't there by the time we needed to leave for the show, that I would take D14 with me. She texted back "Just take her".

Not judging…..was this a little “pay back”? Was it too much for YOU to drop them off? My point is, do not let anger drive your choices. If you really want to take a hard stand, then understand that she will too and unfortunately the only ones who will really suffer are the kiddos. Now I am not suggesting that you always bend over and cave to her demands. No I do not agree with that. I do think though that often, we can allow our frustration with the ex to drive us to the point of wanting to “show them” or “get even”. Once again, I am not judging and I could be way off base here…when I read the above, it “felt” like frustration on your part.

My ex then called and lectured me about how unreasonable I was being and demanded that I let her go.

You’re a better man than me. My ex does not call (thank god), if she sends an email that goes on and on, I just ignore it. People will treat you the way you let them. If she is calling and insulting you, I would just hang up.