Wife in MLC and getting ready to go!

[ericmsant2]

Matt

Trying to make sense of “why she is”, “what she is doing”, “what might she be thinking”…is pointless.

As forever young has mentioned…now is the time that YOU need to work on YOU.

She may notice, she may not – personally, I have no idea. What I do know is that working on YOU and finding YOUR happiness amongst this will be the greatest gift that YOU give yourself.

Matt, IMO, you are still in shock. You are trying to rational her behavior, her words.

Every actions you take is based on HER.

In order to get through this, you need to separate your ACTIONS from HER actions/words/behavior. You need to really focus on just YOU.

The person that you were married too has been beamed up to a different planet. It no longer is about YOU, the kids and her. Nope. It is all about HER. HER needs, HER wants.


You need to change your mind set and make things about YOU.

What does Matt want to do?

Who does Matt want to be?

Here I am trying my best to give her space, be nice even in the face of her awful behavior and she not only projects these things onto me but uses it to feel justified in even worse behavior. All the hard work I've been doing for months and here she decides to ascribe all these awful thoughts about her to me. It was a blow!

Space and “being nice” are two different things. No one said you needed to be “nice”. Civil works too.

I want to not be angry. I want to see her as someone in pain but she makes it so hard by denying the truth, changing history and using events from 20 years ago that she knows still shame me makes that so hard!

Stop looking at HER. Stop looking at everything she does. If you start living your life for YOU and the kids…she just may wake up and realize what she is missing.