Barrybran - Yet Another Thread

[Barrybran]

I have to vent here. It's incredibly frustrating that I have to accept that my wife is so stubborn that she'd rather live with animosity than to get on the same page and make our day-to-day lives easier by fixing our communication. I'm no angel, this process has highlighted that, but it is completely absurd to me that someone is willing to sabotage their own lives under the guise of independence. The marriage is done, ok. She wants her own life, ok. We have a house to run and kids to take care of. Making those things harder by not being willing to try communicating effectively... not ok.

I've thought recently whether it would be beneficial to say to her to just pack up and go. I know deep down things are better with her around. But this stubbornness is ridiculous and it affects everyone.

I wrote what I wrote to stand up for myself. To say "hey, your behaviour is not acceptable." Again, I have my part in this but I can't stand back and just work on myself and expect communcation to improve without working on it. Communication is a two-way street and I expect it to improve. I feel that it will become a boundary for me at some point. Something along the lines of "I tried to communicate, you weren't cooperating so I've made this decision without you." In a nutshell, what you just said Mach. Honestly though, it's not me. I'm a nice person, despite my errors and flaws, and I firmly believe the right thing to do is to work together to ensure the kids and the house are looked after. It doesn't make any sense to me to act in an "I'm not going to work with you" manner.

As I said, I had to vent. It's frustrating and as much as I can accept that my marriage as it is is over, I can not accept her attitude towards day-to-day communication as acceptable.