5 months of heck...ugh

[job]

tld,
You need to breathe! You are very new at this rodeo and like I have said before, there will be ups and there will be downs. As to whether your h is in MLC, is a WAS or has a personality disorder, there's nothing you can do about it except to live your life for you and your children.

When you have a live in spouse in crisis, it is far harder to deal w/because they are in your space 24/7 and you get to hear and see all of their crazy making behaviors. It's difficult to detach when they live at home, but it can be done. As I've mentioned before...you treat them as roommate and friendship comes along later. You can't force a relationship on them...they have to want it too.

How will you get thru this? One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute, second, etc. You focus on the here and now and put the past in a box and store it away. The future is not ours to figure out because the present is all we need to live in at the moment.

Your h is acting like a teenager and until you finally figure it out and understand that you have no control over him and he's going to do what he needs to do to get through his crisis. You are no longer on his radar as a spouse, but someone standing in his way of happiness. I'm sorry that I'm blunt, but it's the truth. In his mind, the marriage, you, family and responsibilities are holding him back. What do you do? Detach, live your life as if he's gone away for a while and the man that is living w/you is a new roommate. Learn to accept him for who he is today and not who he was. Expectations have to remain at zero at all times because he's not going to be the same. In fact, he will become the mirror image of the man you once knew. Learn to rely on yourself, family and friends for support and strength during this time. His crisis will not kill you...but it will make you stronger and wiser beyond your years. Now breathe!