Road to happiness....Part 2

[ye21]

This might sound bypolar but I will write it here.

After what happened with my job and the way I was feeling, I kept asking God for guidance, show me what to do...then I sit with my roomate to have a couple of beers in the garden, I told him a little about my job situation and he agree that I have to change something...

Up to today I am 34 years old, I have no kids, I am having financial problems, I am bored and tired of NY, I remembered how I used to tell my W that one day I wanna to live in Hawaii or upstate NY, basically in a place with nature, a couple years ago before Sandy hurricane we were planning to rent a room in Rockaway, but she ended saying no, because it was an hour commute each way....

So I was thinking about it tonight, I want a quieter life, calm, peace and way less stress, wake up everyday and see nature, and NY its definetly not the place, so I started to read all the signs...my favorite healer Wayne Dyer lives in Hawaii and continuously talks about being in contact with yourself....my entire life I kept saying no bog cities for me and now I am living in one, despite how I always complained about that in my M.

So I asked myself: why are you in NY? Whats keeping you in NY? Then the word came by: My Wife. I am here because I am expecting to reconcile with her and as times goes by and she doesnt do anything to reconcile then I get more desperate....
So I ask myself: what else is keeping you here? Do u like the city? No, I dont like NY since a long time ago, and I have nothing that keeps me here, I want to be more spiritual oriented in a city where all I feel its more: the more you have the more you are valued...
Again I asked myself, could you study in Hawaii? And the response again its yes I can...
So why I live in Ny? Because at this point I want to reconcile... And when things go wrong all I want to do its finish with everything and move out of here... So basically I am here because of my W not because of me.

And as I read in this forum many times: when are you start doing things for you?? And I guess, now, now its when I am going to do things for me...
I am starting to plan my move out of here, tomorrow I will keep talking with people and bike out of the city to contact with nature and listen to responses...

So thats my plan, and for the first time I feel at peace, and calm, and I am not scared to do it, I actually feel excited and happy about it...