Just wanted to check in, I'm going to try to write here a little more in order to journal the day to day happenings. I did end up going to visit H, and I think for our situation, in the long run it was the best decision. We had an absolutely lovely time. H acted just how he used to in the best days of our relationship--very affectionate, holding doors open for me, carrying my bags, etc. Lots of ML. I tried to follow Sandi's rules and acted fun and positive and tried to avoid any relationship talk as much as possible. I did give in and talk about the R once or twice when he brought it up and we had a good talk, I was able to see a little more where he is coming from. He says that he feels being married is not the best thing for him right now, he still loves me very much and can see us getting back together, but for him, he needs to work on his own issues before he can be in a relationship again. He said he can tell I've made some changes already, that I seem more easy going/ less controlling (180 for me). While I can see where he is coming from--we both need to work on a few things in order to be in a decent relationship in the future, either with each other or different people--if we love each other and he can see us getting back together, I feel that it would be a decent compromise for us to stay separated for a while, but he disagrees, and feels that it would be best if we got divorced, then whatever happens in the future between us, happens. I didn't push the issue with him. Its funny in a way but at times I feel like he is DB me...encouraging us to just have fun when we are together, let go of the past/our old relationship, not worry/ plan the future of our relationship yet, and spend this time working on ourselves. It was a short trip, 3 nights, and he texted me yesterday morning, around the time I was just getting home, and said, "I do miss you already...:)". I thought it was sweet, and sort of unlike him, as he's always insisted in the past that he doesn't miss me (or anyone else) when he is away. Since we just spent a few days together that went really well, I'm planning on kind of lying low for a few days as far as contact goes, so he does have a chance to miss me.
