Redefining Hope and Success

[juliegayle]

2 nights ago h and I had the biggest blow out possibly ever. I let myself be baited into saying things about OW. At this point I just want this to be over.

I am going to journal the incident here to see it more clearly.

Things have been tense for last few days since I confronted him about texts and he continues to lie and is now saying I am a bad parent because I couldn't handle s tantrum.

So ss15 got in trouble for abusing his technology rights and doing some really stupid things. His mom (xw1) and h had talks with him and h said he would like me to as well.

He apparently didn't like how I was handling it and barged in the middle yelling at ss15 about integrity honesty trust and how he feels so lied to and how he doesn't think ss15 will ever be able to gain his trust again. Ss15 then runs out of house.

H then turns on me saying it doesn't matter what I say to ss15 because I am nothing to them and he and ss18 will completely forget about me. He then throws in an enigmatic comment about how my mom and sister are going to forget about s.

I ignore all that but couldn't keep my mouth shut about how he is the last person who should be kecturing anyone on trust and honesty. Full denial mode, I'mI'm crazy yada yada... here is where I say to much. I said maybe she deserves him because anyone who knowingly gets involved with married man months before he even tells his wife he is unhappy obviously has questionable morals. I also said stuff about lack of self respect no self esteem etc.

Here is the crazy part. He reveals I am on speaker phone and ow is listening. I say why should I care what she thinks of me and it is pretty cruel of him to do that to her. He keeps her on speaker while we argue about going after ss15. I want to go find him because it is late, he is upset and doesn't have a phone. He says I can't go because sd15 needs to suffer. (I went to find him anyway)

Crazy. .. and today is ss18 bday and we are all going to lunch.

I really think I am done.