GA, Every marriage has its ups and downs and no marriage was perfect. Yes, your h should have spoken up if things were not going well and he felt neglected, but he didn't. You are not a mind reader.
The things that he has said are very typical of the MLC script. Your h is in crisis. You didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him.
No matter what you did or didn't do, he was destined to have a crisis. He could have been single, a priest/minister or married to someone else, but he still would have gone through a crisis. This is all about HIM and resolving his childhood issues that have been stuffed way down in his soul.
Again, it's about HIM, not YOU. It is very important that you understand that you could pretzel yourself into pure gold dollar signs and he still would say the things that he said. He's not happy w/himself and until he figures himself out, faces his childhood issues and grows up, he will continue to be unhappy.
Bottom line...work on YOU! Keep the focus on YOU and if there are things about yourself or the way that you are living, that you are unhappy with, this correct them...but only make changes if they are for you and they must become permanent. The changes have to be made for you and should not be considered as a way to win him back.
Leave him to his journey. Your journey has begun and you will find that you will have good days and then some bad days, but at the end of the journey, you'll be happy w/the person you have become because you've had to learn to be independent and stronger than you've ever been in your life. Dealing w/MLC is not a sprint....it's a marathon and it takes years to run it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
