I think I belong here #2

[praying_in_GA]

Oh my God. I messed my marriage up all on my own. I have been chatting with a long lost friend tonight and I almost feel like I slammed into a brick wall.

In 2010, our marriage was amazing. We were in love and happy. We were sexual. We posted about each other all the time. We took pics of each other and posted them. We were so in love it was probably sickening to others. Then I got pregnant and he lost his job. I started putting the kids and the pregnancy before him in all areas. He wanted to move the kids to their own beds and I didn't want to...so he moved to his own bed. He would want to go off and do stuff but I didn't want to leave the baby with someone for too long. I didn't want sex so we just went without. We would have sex twice a year...literally. In 2010 - Sept 2011 we had sex 3-4 times a week. I cut him off. No intimacy at all.

He was a neglected husband who put up with a lot. He was unemployed and going to nursing school. At home he was not the man of the house, he was just the babysitter. He didn't get the love and attention from me he deserved. Yes, he should have spoken up...but I should have noticed the drifting. We grew apart quickly. his needs were far from met.

I was totally absorbed in the kids. I went to work, I went to sleep, I went to gymnastics, I homeschooled them...I pushed him out of the way to make more room for the kids.

I took him for granted. I took his love for granted. I took the idea that he would never leave us again for granted.

He wanted to move to Seattle and I refused. I told him I wouldn't move until my grandparents moved with us or passed away. I chose my grandparents over my husband.

How can I fix this? Will DBing work for this? Is there a way to show him that I understand and will work my butt off to fix this? How can I bring his attention back to me when I ran him off in the first place?