Once this whole thing started he told me that he has tried for 10 years and was done and was putting up his wall. Initially I was able to get thru that wall. But then he said no sex as it feels weird, no sleeping in the same room. Then he would fake sleep walk to get sex, which I gave into until I figured out he was having a PA. He used to invite me to sleep in the spare room with him occassionally, but has not since we had a physical alteracation. He blames me for the fight and I blame him. He pushed me away at that point and said no physical contact.
I felt so bad for him when he started to go downhill last summer. He did not want to talk to me about it, just pushed me away, but I kept trying. I suggested anti-depressents and counselor. He did not want drugs as does not like anything foreign in his body and he went to counseling when I child and thinks that it is stupid.
I still feel bad for him as I see the pain in his face, but he wants nothing to do with me. It is like once he said he wanted a divorce that was it and I was out the window and OW was in.
My illness is in remission right now. I was unable to intake food for so long and was being fed by tubes and that is when the inflammation went away. Now I have started eating and have to be careful until I figure out what problem foods are.
I wish I had known that he had felt rejected. He did not communicate it to me. He said he didn't because he felt that I could do nothing about the illness, then it just got to be too much for him. He felt guilty talking to me about it, so he never did.
So do you think I should try to be the loving understanding person again? That is my norm, but he kept pushing me away, so I thought opposite might work. It seems like nothing is working because he is so into OW and that he wants a divorce that he cannot see past it. Help???? What do you suggest Mr. Bond? I am a super idiot at all this relationship stuff. I have read where I have gone wrong, but he has said I have my wall and I am not letting you in, I have been unable to put a crack in his wall. HELP???????????? I love my husband, even though he is different then what I know. I don't want my kids to be part of a broken family. Suggestions??????
