5 months of heck...ugh

[MrBond]

"we started working opposite shifts in preparation for having kids, so to not use daycare. I would NOT recommend working opposite shifts to anyone no matter how strong the marriage is."

So that is a valid problem.

"I also have a lifetime illness where I can have nausea and/or diarrhea, because of this I would say no to intimacy at times. It was too much for H to handle."

It's understandable why he would feel that way.

"First he could not handle the illness and could not handle hearing no sometimes."

I don't think you understand. Rather than him hearing 'no' and you expecting him to deal with it, it doesn't seem as if you were too understanding from your part. If he felt rejected, what else was he to do?

"Other things are that I am indecisive, I twitch my legs always, and he was coming last."

Did you put him last?

"He went into a tail spin last summer when our youngest started school. It was 7 years he had a kid to take care of in the mornings, and he did not know what to do."

And how much did you help him? Did you try to understand and empathize with him?

"He went into full blown depression, but would not go to dr or for IC."

Rather than expecting him to get help, how much did YOU help him during this transition?

"Instead he is going thru MLC and choosing new bottom feeders for friends and OW is in this group."

Although I see this as part MLC, I see it also as a guy who is looking for direction and someone who looking for someone to believe and understand him.

How much of that have you done and changed yourself? You might think he's depressed, but just think. What have you changed to change the dynamic so that your situation is something he WANTS to come back to?