Very bad day. W wants to talk, first about daughter school and how we can't afford putting her in private school since she has decided to leave me as soon as school is over. Never mind I can't afford her going or her a place to live. How we must be thinking how to do this in a way that least effects the kids.
How she leaving because she is so unhappy and must change her life. That she isn't in love with me. That she needs to be in control and hasn't been happy since we got married. "It wasn't all bad but nothing is all bad". How she doesn't have anyone else and doesn't think she ever will. She feels trapped. She doesn't have her own place. Knows I'm not doing "bad" things but is afraid I will because she can't get over what happened 20 years ago. That she had 2nd thoughts before she got married but "just wanted to be married". She needs to try being on her own and the reason she's unhappy isn't from her childhood, it's just that we don't belong together. She doesn't want me to find someone new but wants me to be happy. Thinks she will never find anyone because she is to afraid of meeting new people (bullshit)!
Apparently she read something I wrote when I was upset a few months ago and misread everything (I don't know what she was talking about but I know I never wrote anything she said I did. Her MLC mind interpreted what I wrote a certain way.
I didn't handle it perfect but not as bad as I could have. While she doesn't think she will ever come back to the marriage, she's not in a hurry to divorce. I asked her why she was unhappy. She said because she feels out of control. Trapped. It's not my fault but than tells me how it is. How her dad has "owned up" to all he did but doesn't "remember" him saying and doing all he has for the last 7 years to break us up. How he wants to see her "grow" but is also supportive of her being a wife. (Total lie). I told her I knew about the bank account but than gets mad saying I was spying on her.
She just thinks our marriage is crap. Always was. If she were ever to come back she would need to do it slow. She thinks the kids don't have any idea what she is doing and of course they do! It all ended badly when she contradicted herself as to why she's unhappy and accusing me of "twisting her words".
The kids will be fine as it wasn't her parents getting divorced that was bad. It was the way they behaved. Her dad is now the victim. In the past he just was a bastard, now it was too "hurtful" for him to be part of his life. All this because her dad is rewriting the past and she wants it to be true! Doesn't explain why he didn't bother to tell her be was married again but I'm sure he now blames that on his "pain" as well.
She started by saying how depressed she was and by the end was saying she's no longer depressed, it's just me. She said we don't do anything and when I told her I tried to do things she said she knows but she gets "tired" when she's with me but not when she does things with other people! What the hell does that mean?
I'm trying to keep my cool but it's not easy. I wanted to get all she said down right away before I forgot any part. She is just bound And determined to leave and I can't stop her. No matter how good a husband I am since she would rather be a cat lady than stay with me since I make her so unhappy.
Someone please help me figure this out. I had thought things were getting out of replay but now I don't think so!
