Spouse tried I didn't, now opposite

[BrightFuture]

whytry, thanks for stopping by at my post and giving me some encouragement. I keep reading and re-reading your story and still cannot put my head around it.

Spouse had/is using DB website for months to help me and I refused any acknowledgment of my wrongdoing

Why do you say that your W used DB to help you? Did you see any changes in her? Has she become a different person?

My emotional abuse towards spouse and children began getting worse and worse the more I worked to try to make a living for us and I thought they were ungrateful. I have said very mean and hurtful things (on purpose) many times, used very strong degrading names, and left for days at a time to get separation.

Did you move out, or were just not coming home sometimes?

I still had internal hate problems, mostly due to self inflicted shame I for what I was. Personal shame was/is the dominate flaw I keep identifying. It was driving my ship to hide my whole life from friends, family, and especially spouse because I was always afraid of failure.

This gave me some things to think about. This might be exactly what my H is/was going through.

From your time line I understood that final straw was a Valentine’s day gift mishap. There have to be more to that. Did you have an R talk? Was it the first time when she brought up a D subject? Is it when you started to pursue her? The reason I’m asking is that from your posts it is not clear to me that your changes are genuine. Or, it this a reaction to her pushing you away now?

Sorry, if I misunderstood some of your posts. You are definitely in a very unique situation, since your W used this forum and now she is a WAS herself.