"I am doing all this work on myself, making positive changes, but I don't see him doing the same. "

So? The changes you're doing are for you . NOT HIM. This is still control on your part.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER