Wife moved out to be with her Tour Guide Lover

[Oxford1]

I no longer allow anything to anger me.

We all have anger and anger is a healthy response in context. It's how you deal with the anger that is unhealthy. You may think you no longer have anger because you somehow feel that that's what you need to say, but stuffing anger is unhealthy.

Continue your soul searching cause you're still blaming your W for everything. Every other sentence your write is still defending you. I read that when you were dating you kicked her in the ankle, then there's a smothering story. Were those things her fault?

Your children have learned about handling conflict from you and your W. It's disingenuous to think that they haven't. You owe them to work on yourself to show them a new healthy path.

Let your W go, help yourself and your children.
are you telling me to divorce her?

Have you read Codependent No More? If not, put it next on your list. Ever thought of meditating? It can be a game-changer but you have to do the work.

I do meditate after I workout or do Yoga

Again from the quote from your previous counselors, you have a dangerous, unhealthy dynamic. What are you going to do to change that? my IC and the MC see me as in recovery, they don't believe I am the way I was.

You have been given a gift, use it wisely.