Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps

[Upwards]

When you text something like that, the way you are showing yourself IMHO its with fear and also with expectations and for me the way to R should be, you do something "good" I get close to you, if you do something "bad" I push back, always pushing back might made him think continuously that he has to be "perfect" to have any chance with you, and that its very discouraging.

I appreciate your reply Ye but i don't agree with you.

I don't see how that shows fear? I think setting a healthy boundary is about self respect, I don't expect him to be perfect, I just expect him to respect the fact that he shouldn't be in an emotional relationship (that has been physical) whilst married to me.

I'm not rewarding "good" behaviour, I think him cutting contact with the OW shows respect for me & is nothing to do with good/bad behaviour - I refuse to be on friends terms when he's still on contact with her, I refuse to put myself through that emotional pain continuously. If he wants to view it as discouraging then that his problem!