Upwards Its important to set boundaries, also its important to show support, you did both, IMHO I would go with him to eat with the kids, that doesn't make anything "dangerous" and its a chance to have the kids in a family moment.
If you can go to eat something and avoid to talk about the R its fine, its different than go in a date with him, you will show him support, your kids will enjoy the company and you will encourage yourself showing you as stronger.
Its important for you to realize tho separate your R from family activities and also recognize his efforts, not to close yourself completelly, you understand?
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
