Thanks AS! That's a really nice compliment. Oddly enough I've had two or three women friends that have said the same thing about W's decision. "She didn't know how good she had it" "She's crazy to leave!" This was after they tasted my homemade carrot cake so maybe it was biased.
I'll keep in mind there's no negotiating with crazy.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Mmmm Carrot Cake... feel free to send a slice up north.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Mmmm Carrot Cake... feel free to send a slice up north.
I told the postman "Take this to Mi up north." He seemed like he knew where that was, I hope it gets to you!
I also made a homemade peanut butter cup and took it into the office. My nickname is now Billy Crocker. Better than other nicknames I've gotten such as in college where friends dubbed me "the girlfriend deterrent." I rock.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
I guess I'm a bit curious how others would proceed in my situation. I sent over a proposed settlement March 18th, and have not heard back from W or her attorney if she agrees, disagrees, wants something else, scheduled for mediation, or going to court. W's attorney stated in an email to my lawyer prior to us sending said proposal that W was anxious to get the divorce finalized and put this matter behind her. Actions aren't lining up with that in my opinion because she has the "kill shot" in her grasp for the last 3 weeks and hasn't taken it.
My options are to 1) do nothing and wait it out, 2) email W and ask her what she thought after reading through the proposal, 3) have my attorney contact hers and ask the same question.
I'm confused based on W's actions. At the risk of mind-reading, she contacted me December 23 and stated she wanted the divorce finalized by Jan 1, 2014 so "we both can start the new year fresh." Here we are April 12th and still slowly poking along. There's no contact from her or anything to indicate a change of heart, but I'm confused as to what she's up to or waiting on. Any thoughts or input from your experience?
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
I guess I'm stuck in limbo, I want to re-decorate the house, but want to make sure it's indeed my house before I put any money into it. I'd like to landscape the yard and take down a tree out front. I don't want to put hundreds/thousands into a house I'm not going to keep.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
OK, you have choices. I didn't get to the D part of this but my inclination would be to let sleeping dogs lie. The legal system moves very slowly I've learned in other interactions.
If you don't plant trees this year, you can do it next year. If you don't redecorate right now, you haven't missed a window of opportunity.
I can understand that you just want it over.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I understand the feeling K.... Maybe you can do some small things for now that won't cost much, but will be noticeable?
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
I was in a similar situation. I thought I had an agreement with the wife but could not get an answer. They scheduled a masters session where 2 lawyers listen to both sides and the give there response as to what they think a judge will decide. Since i had heard nothing from my wife and my attorney heard nothing from hers we decided to go for it all and ask for the moon. we went into the session and her attorney asked for more that what wife and I had agreed to, so my attorney asked for alimony for me and the house and a bunch of other things. at the end of this session things shifted my way.
My wife called me a week later and asked what had happened. She thought we had an agreement and her attorney went for more without discussion. Long and short is that her attorney tried to force it into court to make more money. My wife ran out of money and had to let her attorney go and withdrew the divorce from the court to prevent her attorney showing up and demanding more money. Right now we are in limbo, but I look at this as buying time to continue to work on myself.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Thanks for all the input before! I'm looking for a bit more. I've initiated no actions but received an email from my WAW's father this evening.
His subject line was short and said "call me" the email had no pleasantries and included his phone number.
I do not want to talk to him at all. I think it's inappropriate he contacted me and requested communication without even giving a hint as to what it's about.
My thoughts are to just answer with "No thank you." How would you handle this one? Am I right here that it's inappropriate for him to contact me?
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
