I'm having a mid-life crisis...WTF?

[sleeper]

I started reading these boards about 7 years ago. My now X Wife had declared her desire for a separation and then sued for D immediately after her father figure died which was almost exactly a year after her mother figure died. I concluded MLC.

Tons of bad stuff happened during our 8yr marriage; 3 year old D raped, business we began cleaned out by bookkeeper, abandoned by our church due to their discomfort in ministering to us with Rape of our D...

So here I am years later...Why?...

I am coming to the conclusion I have lost a part of my mind.

So much of my life has fallen apart in the past year that my life doesn't make sense anymore. It's like I made a wrong turn somewhere...A REALLY BIG [censored] WRONG TURN SOMEWHERE....I find myself constantly looking back in an attempt to discover WHERE THE [censored] DID I SCREW MY LIFE UP?...What could/might I have done to end up in a different place?

Why?...In the past year:

I moved my elderly mother into my home realizing she couldn't live alone
I then realized she wasn't safe in my home during the day alone and placed her in a nursing home
My children are now living with my X and her OMH 100% of the time
I am now married
My mother died two days after her Bday which is 2 days before mine
My older sister (only sibling) arrived in town for the funeral but had her husband break into mom's house while I was meeting with her to plan the funeral, taking everything she wanted.
My X has taken me back to court
My home has been burglarized TWICE
I'm now on the verge of bankruptcy

I find myself listening to music from my past, when I was about 18 years younger, a part time musician, single, a fitness freak and seeing a married woman for 3.5 hours at a time in a hotel room.n (right,right,wrong)

Of course I can't help but wonder what different course(s) my life might have taken.

My life is a train wreck. I thought I was making the right choices but it's a mess.