afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Thanks Ye,

Different status now. I come home and check the bank accounts like I normally do on a Friday.

There was a 2500.00 check written as a retainer to a L. Now just last Sunday I explained to her that money in that joint account while legally joint. She knows morally that I put it all in there.

Now she had no problem with the money I put in there since the S but was a little taken back when I told her that the money that should be split was such an amount she said we will have to go over that. I said fine.

Now that she has written such a large check she has taken an extra 1600.00 that is not morally hers.


Surprisingly, I am not as upset as I thought I would be.

First question, Since it is only a retainer that does not mean she definitely filed correct? You can just put L on retainer in case he is needed right?

Second question, She will know that I have seen this check so do I just go about my business and not say anything?

Do I acknowledge the fact that she retained a L and act calm about it saying I understand that is something you felt you needed to do. I don't think D is a solution but I respect your position.

If I acknowledge the L do I question why she felt it was ok to use that money for that without at least discussing it with me first?


Do I question whether W will continue to contribute to the bills?

Do I call her out on the fact that even though she said she wasn't getting paid anymore from that job which was under the table to begin with That she has been there everyday since she told me that she wasn't working?

I realize Im dealing with a WAW but just need to know how to proceed.

Do I tell her that now I guess it is full business mode and I apologize in advance if how I am advised to proceed turns out to be a very tough and hurtful road?

When I retain a L and tell her in depth what my situation is it might get really ugly but I need to protect myself correct?

Now more than ever looking for advice and moral support from Everybody!!

Thanks in advance!!

BTW, I still am very much in love with my W no matter what.