How do you do THIS part...

[swoop]

"Primary parent" has not been established as of yet. I will be pursuing that diligently, as I do not want STBXW to be able to uproot and relocate Daughter.

This may vary per state when it comes to 50-50 custody, but in my case there is no primary parent in the decree, we're "joint managing conservators." There is a primary residence, but that's not in the decree either, it's designated through the school district.

I am going to ask my Lawyer more about that. Originally, I was willing to let wife be the primary household. My only concern was that she didn't move my daughter away from me. Since then, STBXW has filed for welfare and the state issued me with a fairly high child support. I am contesting that, and hopefully it is not something that I will be stuck paying. However, it has opened my to the fact that I really don't want her to be named primary household. I hope to find a solution that will "motivate" her to support herself (which she had done throughout our relationship, up until days before BD), and at the same time protect myself from any possible problems.

but I was just given notice that stbxw's lawyer decided to discontinue working with her as of this week.

Interesting. Any idea why that happened?

My lawyer suspects that he was tiring of the mellow drama, and he also wasn't happy with the "facts" she was providing him.

STBXW requests for settlement are fairly reasonable, with the exception of asking for 28K dollars, above and beyond everything else. That is something that I just am not willing to accept.

When you're going through a D don't think like that, think like this- "is this something a judge is likely to accept?" Because THAT is all that matters, not what you are "willing to accept". What you think is fair and what your W thinks is fair are two different things. The judge will make the determination though. I don't think my final settlement with W was fair to me at all, but W thought it was fair to us both and I wasn't willing to fight for months (and pay a L for months) to dispute it. And at what cost to my health? I was in a great place before W threw the curveball of wanting more money in the 11th hour. Suddenly it was like going through BD all over again- I was stressed, not sleeping well, having trouble focusing at work, etc. So I could have fought it and aged prematurely, LOL! But I chose to give that to her, finish the D and move on with my life and I am really glad I did. I'm not telling you to roll over, I'm just suggesting you think of all these things as you progress towards a final settlement

Good advice, and I need to be cognitive of that, when we go in for mediation.

Loneliness is the number one thing I am struggling with now.

You might read No More Mister Nice Guy, it really helped me to understand how to address loneliness. The solution to loneliness is to learn to be happy with yourself when you're alone. You can be alone without being lonely. In fact you really should learn to be happy/ content alone BEFORE you start dating, because otherwise you may end up dating for the wrong reasons.

I am going to check out that read. I have seen in mentioned in other threads. I do very much understand that I need to get my house in order before I move forward with another relationship. I have just been struggling on how to do that. The loneliness has been tough. This morning I woke up from a dream that involved STBXW and I reconciling. The dream gave me a lot of peace and comfort... until I woke up, and then it totally wrecked my day. I have had a hard time redirecting my thoughts. She has been on my mind a lot. I absolutely HATE that she occupies space in my thoughts throughout the day!

I am at a point where I think that just getting this divorce over and done with is in every bodies best interest. I guess that means I have dropped the rope? I am not sure.

I'd say based on your post history that you're definitely getting there. There used to be a lot of anger and resentment towards W in your posts and that has largely disappeared. That's a sure sign that you're finally letting go.

I wish that I could say that I don't still harbor anger. yesterday, during our exchange with daughter, it was all I could do to keep the thoughts of smashing OM in the face and telling STBXW what I really feel about what she is doing to me. Not good :-/

It still feels crummy, but it seems to make the most sense.

I don't think it'll ever feel "good" for any of us, but sometimes it feels "right". And if it feels right, then proceed without regrets.

It still doesn't feel right to me. I don't think it ever will. I just think the whole thing is wrong on every level.