I'm starting to wonder if my role as a SAHM - even though that's what he said he WANTED me to do - somehow "diminished" me in his eyes. So maybe confidence and independence and assertiveness - even while I feel those are predominantly masculine qualities that, demonstrated in me, have possibly hurt our relationship over the years - may be exactly what I need to continue portraying.
Quite possible.
In my case, WAW just got a job after being SAHM for 13 years. I find it very attractive. She's more of an equal, less of a dependent, more of what she was when we first met. I'm still working through how it all ties together. I don't think "diminished" is the right word, but it's certainly a different dynamic. And I wouldn't consider confidence, independence and assertiveness to be masculine qualities. I call those healthy person qualities.
In any case, you are what you are; it's not your problem. There's no reason to redefine yourself over good qualities. It comes down to whether your H is attracted to that, or threatened by it, and it sounds like it's the former.
So maybe we both got solutions to one of our problems. Just a little late!
