I don't think it's just you, Starsky. I completely agree with you, which is likely one of the reasons I've had such a hard time with the idea of 180s.
I kind of like me. Is there room for improvement? Of course. And that's what I'll work on. So, yeah. I can understand 180s if - like you said - it's done for self-improvement. But to change the essence of who am I to attract somebody? You're right: why would I do that? That's not a sustainable change, anyway. And if I have to change the essence of who I am to make someone happy, then I don't need that person in my life.
But, yes, As, too, throw a monkey-wrench into everything. They make the most sane of us feel, well, insane.
They are entirely different beasts, those As.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014