About your IC, if she's not working for you, find another. It's not a one size fits all thing.

I haven't followed you daily so will need to read back but from what I'm reading right now, mu suggestion would be to slow down and do the next best thing.

Your W is gone, it's a holiday for your family, celebrate with your family. Your W has chosen not to be a part of that right now. That's her choice.

You don't have to be controlled by her choices.

Why did she move her stuff back in to your H and is that OK with you?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss