I had to Google "who do I want to be" last night. Pretty stupid for a 30yo man. Admittedly, it helped though. Asking who I want to be is pretty vague and I honestly have no idea. I think a lot but I have a million different things going on in my mind and I'm not so good at stealing myself away to really spend some time by myself and think. When I have downtime I try to really relax and do what I want to do as I'm forever chasing after work, my house and my kids. I know I need to think deeply more often but I also need to unwind too. As a middle ground, I decided I'd get a notebook and start writing things down. What I've done that makes me happy, what I want to do, what I want to have, what I don't want to do, etc. Just some thoughts to try and shape the direction I want to head in. I didn't find a notebook so I'll grab one from my wife's work on Sunday but I've found some printer paper to get me started. I figure I'll have some thoughts along the way and write them down rather than trying to force myself to think of things in one go.
Please remember to go easy on yourself too....
Finding Barry isn't something that is going to happen overnight, or during one thought provoking instance....
It will happen over time, slowly yet positively. You will watch other people that you admire, and you will add traits of people that you consider role models. You will incorporate those things into your everyday values and your core values.
You will read things that you want, or situations that you would like to handle similarly...
Take it all in, and sort it out, so that it "fits" you...
Set aside a certain amount of time each day to think, time to play. time to give back, time to unwind....
Originally Posted By: Barry
Something I'm considering is changing the way I dress. I usually get around in t-shirts, surf-brand shorts and a pair of smart sandals. I feel very comfortable in what I wear and I feel I look good in it. I'm only 30 so I feel that I look attractive in what I wear but when I look at 40-50 year olds who wear t-shirts, something doesn't quite sit right with me. I've always admired the dress sense of those men aged 40-60 who dress nicely all the time, nothing fancy, but a collared shirt tucked into a decent pair pants and nice shoes or workboots. I wear shorts a lot, even in winter, so I'm not sure that I'm ready to retire the shorts but I think a more mature look is something I need.
I see this a little different than you might expect.....
My first question is why ?
Then again, I think that you are answering a little bit, yet I see something that you may not..
When I first read that, I thought: Yea, I get that....
I sense that you fear judgment, and maybe not today or tomorrow, but as you say.....down the road....
I want you to think about this though....
Why do you fear that judgement ????
I would assume that it comes from a projection within yourself. That maybe you fear judgement, because YOU are willing to give judgement..
Is that something that you feel within yourself ???
Is being judgmental something that is on your 'bad' list ???
Think about it, and see if it is something that fits....
Originally Posted By: Barry
I was able to compliment my wife today. It was very easy to be honest. I went to her work to exchange car keys and she was busy so I headed out the back to her locker. The back area was quite empty which has been a rarity with all the stock my wife's company keeps sending her. She's been putting in a lot of hours at work since November so I know she's put in a lot of effort to get the stock on the floor and out of the back dock. I left the store and sent her a text saying that the back dock looks great and that she'd done well. I didn't get a response but I wasn't meant to. It was a genuine compliment and she takes it how she sees fit.
Very nice....
No expectations though....you are doing this for you, not her...
Originally Posted By: Barry
I received a couple of new books today so I'm looking forward to getting into those once I'm done with TWOTSM.
