It has been 3 years if I am reading your time line correctly and it appears that you haven't moved very far from when the bomb was dropped. Ok, the first thing you really need to do is to take the spotlight ff of them and put it on you. Focus on creating your life the way you want it. Do things that perhaps you enjoyed but he perhaps didn't.

Think of your ex as the mailman. Be cordial. Any conversations should only be about the kids. Keep those short and to the point. It is not your job anymore to help guide his moral compass. Those are his things to deal with. You focus on you.

I hope you can move forward.
kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory