I get that you are trying to make me see that things may have not been exactly as I perceived them to be and I appreciate your honesty.
But it really wasn't 'creepy' as you put it.
She was a very mature 19 year old when we met and our relationship was supported by everyone in our lives as they regarded us as a couple very much in love and happy together.
I have really examined myself over the past few months and tried to understand how this could have happened so suddenly.
in the course of that I have accepted that there were lots of things I wasn't aware of and that I now wish I had paid more attention to.
But I resent your suggestion that I treated her like a child because that simply was not the case.
When I say I neglected her needs it was more a case of not recognising what those needs were, I understand them now since this happened as I have tried to explore what went wrong and realise there were a lot of areas I did badly in.
It is very easy for an outsider looking in to say that a 50 year old and a 32 year old can't work, we questioned this at the very start of our relationship but were so in love we decided we could do it.
The age has only been an issue for her since I turned 50, she has admitted that very clearly, and it is an issue she admits she can't understand considering that we never had issues with it before.
I have spoken at length to friends and have suggested myself that perhaps she feels that she has spent all her teenage/twentysomethinglife in relationships and hasn't fully explored who she is as a person and I have told her myself that I understand her need to do this.
Trust me, this is now not really about me any longer, I get that our marriage looks doomed and I'm just going to have to accept that.
However none of this analysis explains her distancing herself from our children and that is my over-riding concern at the moment.
Also, none of how we were as a couple or the problems that might have been underlying it justify her having an affair, we are all responsible for our own actions and no matter what the issues I do take responsibility for mine however she refuses to do the same regarding this.