Hi Matt, I just wanted to add my 2 cents to the excellent advice you have been receiving. I hope you find it helpful.
It doesn't matter how great of a H you were, or are. W's perspective right now is that you are not. That's reality for her, and you'll be spinning your wheels until you accept it. You can't convince her otherwise, so please don't try.
I can tell by your posts that you want so badly to fix this. This is understandable (I did too) but you can't. It's just not possible. The best you can hope for right now is to not make things worse! I know, not what you want to hear, right?
There is hope, and things can get better, but...
She has to figure her way through this on her own, you can't help. The more you try, the more she will pull away and consider you the problem. Or worse, the enemy. Give her space and time.
Like everyone has advised you, just work on yourself. Build a happy life for yourself in this new reality. It's actually kinda fun once you get going.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
