Funny, my wife said something on the way out the door to visit her sister that perfectly exemplifies the disconnect in our thinking. She asked me if I was mad at her because she was still going to her sister's tonight despite the fact that she didn't go to work today and spent most of the day in bed recovering from her panic attack.
It never in a million years would have occurred to me to be mad about that.
Ever.
Being mad was the furthest thing from my mind. And I told her that. That I wasn't mad, and being mad never even crossed my thoughts. She said it was like Catholic guilt... "you didn't go to church so you don't get to go out and play"... and that was just how her mind worked. I told her I didn't think that way at all and her going to her sister's didn't bother me at all... but what I feel like I should have mentioned (although it didn't occur to me at the time) was that she can't project her mindset on to me... that's part of what got us here; her continually thinking that I'm thinking something that I'm not. Is there a tactful DB way to do that?
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
