You asked in the other post: Anyone have any ideas of a way to get her to understand things without her seeing it as controlling or stopping her from "finding her joy"?
You don't. Your W is acting like a rebellious teenager who wants to do whatever she wants.
You ask why W is acting upset with you going out. She is feeling miserable and depressed so she doesn't like the fact that you're out and about "enjoying" yourself. Keep going in that direction. You cannot worry about what W thinks or feels when you do go out. Right now, she's not your number one nor are you her number one. She's lost in the MLC fog.
MLCers don't want any hint of intimacy with the LBS. We are very adept in hugging the bed's edge when sleeping in the bed and not reaching out to the LBS for non-sexual touches. Sex with the LBS? Forget it!
had an awful dream last night where I was with my daughters at her dad's place. We find this statute that looks like my W. Her dad just leaves and doesn't care. I try and find what this thing is and I open it up and it's empty inside. For some reason I expected to find my W inside and whole but there's nothing. My daughters start to cry because they know they lost their mother forever now and I feel powerless to do a thing! I feel like I let them down, her down and my FIL is just standing there laughing!
This dream is telling you that FIL is sucking W's soul dry. He is not who he is. Seems to say that FIL isn't the cuddly guy that he tries to portray to W. Scary.
If my W really doesn't love me the way a wife should, really wants to leave and be on her own, doesn't want to even try, why the attitude about me going out without her? Is this normal?
Yes, unfortunately so. MLCers are very depressed and miserable. They don't like it when the LBS goes out to have fun because they want to pull you down so they'll feel better about themselves. Which is why you MUST detach from W's moods, actions, and comments.
why else take off her ring?
In her mind, you two are separated. She's mentally and emotionally checked out of the M at the moment. So this action reflects her mindset.
I did decide about a week after that I would take mine off as well. Part of trying to do a 180 as I've made sure she knows I will stick to my vows until the divorce was final and this seemed "out of character" for me and seemed like a good 180.
Ummm..those two statements are in direct conflict with one another. If you wish to stick to your vows, then removing your wedding ring isn't the way demonstrate it. Just curious why you took it off in the first place. Anyone have any ideas as why she is acting this way?
At this point, she's very conflicted and confused. That's why all of this crazymaking is happening. When one's internally confused, they tend to say or do things externally that reflects that. It isn't about you, Matt. It is all on her and her inner demons from her childhood.
